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Wednesday, July 12, 2017 • 10:21 AM • 0 Sweet hearts
I am no longer in college, I'm currently having my semester break, yayy for that. I am now home with the neighbours and my family telling me how fat I am and mom and dad keep saying how I should be more girlish and women up, wear this and that, do this not that. Now, every time my eyes peeped open in the morning, the first thing that I did wasn't greeting my family, but greeting the weighing scale. Let's just say I don't have anorexia or depression since I haven't went through diagnosis yet but I met all the criteria. Recently, i felt that someone was always with me, saying that I can't eat that anymore, I'm not good enough for everyone, and that I should be sorry for who i am, a disappointment.
How can someone drown for so long and stay alive?
How can someone breathe when there's only chemical on air?
My peripheral personality is still somewhere stucked in a land of cactus at an undiscovered desert and does not want to let the conclusion out. I am sad to admit that I am a confused prick who tries to swim a different stream.
Oh my god I am useless.
Crying a lot in the middle of the night for hours then I went emotionless staring at my dark room. It's not a weird thing anymore.
The night is painful.
People couldn't hear me screaming and shouting in need of help even when it was such a quiet night.
Cheers to those deadly souls trying to break free from their demons but couldn't. Goodnight
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